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lovecoach has been a member since January 17th 2012, and has created 5 posts from scratch.

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A Simple Shift That Makes You Instantly More Attractive


By Rori Raye

Author of best-selling eBook Have The Relationship You Want and free newsletter


If you’re at all like me, a predictable thing happens to you when you start dating a new man you like. At first, you’re all excited, there’s a spring in your step, and you feel all aglow. People ask you what you’ve done differently.


But then, as you get to know him and become even more interested and invested in him, something else happens. You start to think about him all the time, you begin to worry that you might mess things up, and you’re constantly wondering what he’s thinking about you. You talk about him with all of your friends, dissecting his every move. But there’s no harm in it, because he knows nothing about this – right? Wrong.






When you think about a man too much, several things happen. Emotionally, you become drained from all the analyzing. You have less energy for the other things in your life – the passions and people that made you the person he was attracted to in the first place.


At the same time, your self-esteem goes down. Why? Because you start hanging your self worth on whether or not things will work out with this one guy. You go from the carefree, spirited woman you are to a fearful, worrying creature. And it shows. Believe it or not, a
man can sense when you’re doing all this internal acrobatics about him. Your thoughts affect your feelings and your mood.


But telling yourself to stop thinking about him isn’t so easy. You need a two-pronged approach: a way to stop yourself from focusing all your attention on one man too soon…and a Tool to boost your self-esteem so that you’re being your most attractive you.





Couple on a date


Once you’ve found a man you think is a potential keeper, it’s tempting to clear out your calendar for him and not even consider other dates. But this is exactly what makes you become fearful and worried about whether he’s going to call and what’s going to happen next.


Result: you can’t stop thinking about him, and he’ll pick up on the fact that you’re hinging on his every move.


That’s why you absolutely need to keep connecting with other men and going out on dates with them. When you do, you’re  immediately taking the pressure off both you and the guys you’re seeing. It will stop you from over-thinking about any one man, which means you won’t have that clingy, fearful, unattractive vibe I talked about before. The fact that you’re online dating means you have a fantastic Tool at your disposal to keep yourself from prematurely cutting off your options. Use it!







Often, and especially when we meet a man we think could really be “it,” something inside us immediately starts to sabotage it. It’s what I like to call the “nasty voice,” and I’m sure you’re familiar with it – it’s that negative-thinking part of you that says you aren’t good enough to have all the love you deserve from a truly wonderful man.


Well, you do. And since I like visual Tools, I want you to think of your favorite dish. Let’s say it’s chocolate cheesecake. Think of everything you love about chocolate cheesecake and what makes it so wonderful. Who wouldn’t want a piece of that? Same goes for you. Now, whenever you are feeling overcome by feelings of inadequacy, I want you to immediately think of that dessert and say to yourself, “I am the chocolate cheesecake!”


I know this sounds silly, but believe me – it works. It’s so silly, that it will instantly lighten your mood and hence your vibe, so that you really do loosen up and become instantly more attractive. It’s similar to what happens when you’re walking down the street and you’re remembering that great kiss you had with your guy. Instantly, a smile washes over your face and people want to know: “What did you do differently?”


There are specific things you can do to raise your self-esteem that will make you irresistible to a man. To learn more. subscribe to Rori’s free relationship advice e-newsletter. You’ll discover a whole new way of relating to men that will make you feel better about yourself while you find the relationship of your dreams.

Are You Chasing Him And Don’t Even Know It?


By Rori Raye

Author of best-selling eBook Have The Relationship You Want and free newsletter


When we find ourselves falling for a man, it’s normal to start feeling that if we don’t show enough interest in him he might get the wrong message and drift away. We want to make sure he knows we like him. So we might do things like:


  1. Calling him because you heard or read about something interesting, or because you knew there was a great band playing somewhere, or someone told you about some great event that you want to invite him to.
  2. Calling to ask why he hasn’t called you.
  3. E-mailing him, texting him, Facebooking him, sending him a cute card, dropping by his house, or in any way attempting to initiate some kind of contact.
  4. Asking him how he feels – especially asking him how he feels about you or the relationship.
  5. Inviting him to come and join you, or in any way acting like the social director of the relationship.


At first glance, these actions might seem completely harmless. In fact, you may feel that he’ll just see you as being friendly and want to get closer to you. But doing any of these things shifts you into masculine energy and makes you the pursuer in the relationship. When a man feels even a little bit pursued, he’ll feel he doesn’t have to work so hard to win you over and will immediately drop
his efforts.


It’s important to understand that the urge to chase him in this manner comes from fear: feeling like we’re going to lose him by not letting him know we’re interested in him. But nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, whenever you initiate courtship you are sending the message that you might be insecure about losing him, and this will make you appear less attractive to him. He feels smothered and feels an aggressive vibe from you that does nothing to inspire him to want to get closer.



It Pays To Be Patient



I know how frustrating it is to sit back and let a man take the lead. We want a man to know we’re interested in him. We want to make it easy for him to ask us out again. We want to seem enthusiastic and easygoing. And often times this means we inadvertently
chase him in the ways described above.


It’s true that men need validation as much as we do. But there’s a difference between letting a man know you like him and actually chasing him. When you chase a man, you don’t give him the chance to show you how he really feels about you. And the only way
to really be sure of where his heart is at is by creating the space he needs to chase you.



Lure Him, Don’t Chase Him



For a man to feel like he wants to get closer to you, he needs to feel good around you. And the way he feels good around you is when he pleases you. As long as you seem happy to see him and tell him how much you enjoy his company, a man will keep coming back for
more. Stay in your feminine energy by being receptive and open to his attention. When he sees that you are a woman who is secure in herself and doesn’t need to pursue him, he will be encouraged to step up his game so another man doesn’t beat him to the chase.


Once you are in a committed relationship with one man, letting him take the lead and continuing to be receptive to him will fuel his passion for you. He will adore you and appreciate you, and you will be able to relax in the knowledge that you are a desirable
creature he’d be a fool to take for granted.


There are specific, effective ways to communicate to a man your interest without chasing him. To learn how to do this so that a man will feel inspired to pursue you, subscribe to Rori’s free e-newsletter. You’ll discover a completely different way of expressing yourself that will get you a man’s full attention and interest.

How To Get Him Back In 7 Days…


By Rori Raye

Author of best-selling eBook Have The Relationship You Want and free newsletter



Rori teaches women how to break out of the patterns that have been keeping them from truly connecting with a man’s heart so that they can experience deep intimacy. To learn specific ways you can step out of the “doing” role in your relationship and into the more feminine energy “feeling” role that is so alluring and magnetic to a man, subscribe to Rori’s free e-newsletter. You’ll discover even more effortless ways to let a man know he’s lucky to have you.



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